What an amazing four days it has been.

My life has changed completely in the past four days.  No, there's no big news about kids or jobs or Bryan.  But my life has changed completely.  I'm happy again. 

If you would have asked me a week ago if I was happy, I probably would have responded in the affirmative.  Because I knew that I should be.  But I wasn't truly.  My heart was heavy.  I thought that was because of the stress of dealing with work and B's injury and bills and everything else that comes with life.  But it wasn't.  It was because of the way I was dealing with the stress. 

And then Monday happened. 

And now I am happy.  My bills haven't magically disappeared.  My husband wasn't miraculously healed.  My house was not cleaned by fairies.  God brought about a change in my heart.  My head knew that I was unduly stressed and volatile.  I knew that I wanted to feel differently about my life and especially my husband.  But I could not figure out how to flip the switch. 

And God did it for me.

Life hasn't changed in the past four days.  My husband still puts the dishes away in the wrong places.  But I can let it pass, instead of yelling at him and arguing about it for an hour.  I'm allowing B to be different from me.  We complement each other beautifully.  He messes up in areas of organization and time management.  I mess up when it comes to communication.  And we lift each other up.  And carry each other's burdens.

The most beautiful thing about the change God has brought about in me is this:  I don't feel guilty for the way I've thought and acted for the past three months.  My husband has forgiven me.  My heavenly father has forgiven me.  Those sins are gone.  I know that I will have to continually be on my guard against their return.  But what has passed is gone.  Thank God.

Stacy (TL)