Being a Woman

"Wives, be subject to our own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.

But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body." Ephesians 5:22-30 (NASB)

So, I'm not going to go into full exegesis on this passage.  I'll just say this - it's tough.  I'm intelligent.  I'm confident.  I'm capable.  And, quite frankly, I want to have the last word and be right, whether or not I'm right.  By the way, this is Stacy writing.

 Honestly, I'm having a bit of a difficult time writing this blog.  I keep feeling the need to write disclaimers like, "We still have discussions about decisions," or "I don't have to just follow whatever Bryan wants to do."  But I don't want to write disclaimers.  The Bible says women are to submit to their husbands.  And husbands are to love their wives.  I'm sure B has as difficult a time loving me when I'm in a bad mood and yelling at him as I have submitting to him when he tells me that I need to stop arguing with him when I'm upset.  Like I said - it's tough.

So anyway, this is definitely an area that we are working on in our marriage, and will probably have to continue working on for the rest of our lives.  It would definitely be easier if society agreed with the concept of the man being the head of the household and the wife submitting to him.  But it doesn't.  So we'll deal.

The reason I'm writing a blog on this now is because of a song we've been working on.  We'll be using the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real in church on Sunday, but we've made a few changes.  The song is from a husband's point of view, reflecting on what his family needs from him.  As we were thinking about the song, we reflected that wives need a verse too, about learning to submit.  So we did a bit of re-writing to make the song a duet.  You can find the original lyrics here.  Here's how we're performing the song (H stands for husband, W stands for wife, and B stands for both)

H: I look around and see my wonderful life
    Almost perfect from the outside
    In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
    Always smiling, but on the inside,
    I can hear her saying...

    Lead me with strong hands
    Stand up when I can't
    Don't leave me hungry for love
    Chasing dreams, what about us?

    Show me you're willing to fight
    That I'm still the love of your life
    I know we call this our home
    But I still feel alone

W: I race around, getting everything done
     I'm a strong woman, need help from no one.
     He's working hard, to get into my life
     I'm independent, but on the inside,
     I know I should be saying...

     Lead me with strong hands
     Stand up when I can't
     Keep me hungry for love
     Not chasing dreams, keep me thinking about us.

     Help me to give up the fight
     So I'll be proud to be your wife
     I know we call this our home
     But I still feel alone

B:  So Father, give us the strength
     To be everything we're called to be
     Oh, Father, show us the way
H:  To lead her
W: Let him lead me.

H:  To lead her with strong hands
      To  stand up when she can't
W: Don't want to leave him hungry for love,
B:  Chasing things that we could give up

H:  I'll show her I'm willing to fight
W: And give him the best of my life
B:  So we can call this our home
     Lead us, 'cause we can't do this alone
     Father, lead us, 'cause we can't do this alone.

Stacy

Being a Man

I don't know if it is ever beneficial for a woman to tell a man that he is not manly enough. For some reason, it does not elicit a need to be manly, and usually only leaves the bad aftertaste of being under-appreciated. The problem is that the woman is usually right, at least about or in the circumstance in which the statement is said.

A man who knows he is not being manly enough may, if he notices that criticism from his wife or girlfriend is not enabling him to soar in beneficial ways of masculine power and leadership, may seek other men to mentor him and tell him to be manly.

The question then becomes redundant, poignant, but hopefully beneficial in its simplicity (which is why all women think men are stupid to some degree, no matter how smart we actually are).

The question is this: Are you man enough to tell yourself to be a man?

You know that your mom, wife, girlfriend, or female anyone cannot encourage your masculinity by telling you that what you are doing or what/who you are is not enough. You figure that other men could tell you, but if you've realized that you want other men to tell you to be a man and tell you what you do, then you often already know, and so forgo seeking the counsel of the men who would tell you what you would tell them if they were to ask.

But why then does a man not act upon his self-found (or Godly given, in some cases) wisdom in the humility and aggressive service of a man in all of his roles, not simply give himself his own advice and do what he says?

Better yet, why does he not read about manliness in the scriptures to confirm what he already suspected was the answer, and do what it says, it being the Word.

So the question stands: Are you man enough to tell yourself to be a man?

Sg